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ESTADO DE ALARMA: LA LUZ AL FINAL DEL TÚNEL

Estado de Alarma

Hola a todos amig@s, seguidores BBes. Parece que por fin vamos a recuperar nuestras vidas. El fin de la cuarentena se acerca ya que el gobierno ha comunicado su plan de la desescalada. Hemos sido muchos los que hemos practicado el “yo me quedo en casa” y por suerte no han sido tantos a los que les hemos tenido que recordar “quédate en casa”. De lo que no hay duda es de que todos estamos cansados del confinamiento y de que pensábamos que esta crisis no iba a terminar nunca. Afortunadamente el fin de la cuarentena cada día está más cerca y parece que aún vamos a llegar a tiempo al ¡verano! Desde Baratijas Bonitas estamos exultantes de estar venciendo al coronavirus y con unas ganas enormes de gritar al viento ¡Adiós y no vuelvas nunca, Estado de Alarma!

En el equipo de Baratijas Bonitas nos queremos poner serios por unas pocas líneas, y queremos transmitir nuestro más sentido pésame a los familiares de las víctimas del covid-19, que no han sido pocas. ¡Ánimo a todos! Sin embargo, no estamos aquí para hablar de tragedias, ya hay bastante de eso en los medios de comunicación y en las familias afectadas. Nos gustaría, a través de nuestra humilde y peculiar visión de las cosas, comentar toda esta situación, desde el estallido del virus en Wuhan y ver su ciudad en confinamiento, la llegada de la crisis a Europa y en especial a España con la comunicación del Estado de Alarma, ver nuestro país y nuestras gentes sumidas en una interminable cuarentena, hasta el principio del fin con la comunicación del plan de la desescalada.

¡Hasta siempre coronavirus, no te echaremos de menos!

El Covid-19 ha nacido en Wuhan

Otro virus más para la colección

Parece que fue hace una eternidad cuando en Wuhan, China, se comieron aquella famosa sopa de murciélago. Realmente no hace tanto. Aunque fue a finales de 2019, seguimos en abril, son solo unos pocos meses. Ya fue en enero cuando empezamos a prestar un poco de atención al tema. Todos desde aquí pensábamos que era una tontería. Al fin y al cabo, ya hemos sobrevivido a otras pandemias como la de las vacas locas, la gripe porcina o la del pollo o el ébola. Todas ellas parecían el fin del mundo, y sin embargo su repercusión en España fue prácticamente nula. ¿Qué está pasando? ¿Son los chinos intentando crear el apocalipsis zombi a base de ensayo y error? Sea lo que sea este coronavirus, no es más que otro más para la colección de los días del juicio final que ya hemos superado.

La ciudad de Wuhan está en cuarentena

¿Has oído las noticias? Dicen que los Wuhan ¿-ianos? ¿-ienses? ¿-eños? tienen que hacer confinamiento en sus casas. Pobrecitos, pero eso les pasa por comer cosas raras. ¡Con lo buenos que son los caracoles! No les queda otra, si es cierto que se expande tan rápido, tendrán que practicar el yo me quedo en casa para salvar a la humanidad. De cualquier forma, nos da un poco igual. Aquí a España no va a llegar ese bicho. Y aunque llegue, morirá pronto. No será capaz de seguir el ritmo de los españoles, a base de tapas y cervezas nos lo cargaremos. Y si es duro de pelar, ¡lo rematamos con un orujo de hierbas o un pacharán! No, en serio, el clima es diferente, el virus no puede sobrevivir aquí. ¿Te crees que el gobierno sería capaz de decir quédate en casa? ¡Nadie les haría caso!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi-l5mUPYN4

El Covid-19 llega a Europa

Se empieza a hablar de crisis sanitaria

Mira que curioso, el bicho ha llegado a Italia. Oye, pues ya no está tan lejos. Dicen que el paciente cero en Italia era un corredor, que participó en un par de carreras y también asistió al estadio para ver en vivo un partido de fútbol. Claro, así es normal que se haya extendido. Además, con el frio que hace ahora en el norte de Italia, resulta más fácil la expansión. Es como la gripe, cosas del invierno. Pero no te preocupes, la primavera ya se acerca. Estos de la OMS son unos alarmistas. Parece mentira que no hayan aprendido de las veces anteriores. No se puede suspender el fútbol por una tontería como esta. Que se tomen las precauciones adecuadas y ya está, pero privar a los aficionados del Valencia de viajar para ver el partido de Champions contra el Atalanta ¡no tiene ningún sentido!

Italia en cuarentena

¿Cómo es posible haber llegado a esto? Que me perdonen los italianos porque no todos tendrán la culpa, pero es que son muy tontos. Les están advirtiendo del peligro que hay desde hace semanas, pero les ha dado igual. No han hecho nada para controlarlo. Han sido unos irresponsables. Pues chic@, ahora quédate en casa. Ni con esas, míralos, saliendo a la calle, viajando como si tuvieran vacaciones, ¡la policía tiene que salir y multarlos! De locos. Por suerte en España son solo unos pocos los casos de contagiados y esperemos que muy pronto todo se resuelva. De momento, a seguir con nuestra vida. Ya verás ahora, entre el ruido de las manifestaciones y con las mascletás de fallas ¡el bicho va a salir volando del susto! ¿Te imaginas que cancelan las fallas? Claro, y lo próximo qué será ¿cancelar la semana santa? ¡Los sevillanos se mueren! Ni de coña.

La escalada

Joder, pues esto parece serio. Hay gente muriendo en los hospitales y los casos de contagios se están disparando. ¿Cómo es posible? ¡Esto es España! ¿Me vas a decir que somos casi tan tontos como los italianos? Piensas “casi” porque vas por detrás en número de contagios. Pero ¿has pensado que el bicho aquí llegó más tarde? Voy a decirte que somos MÁS tontos que los italianos. Porque teníamos su ejemplo, hemos visto lo que les estaba pasando y no hemos hecho nada. Hemos actuado peor que ellos, y tiempo al tiempo, seguro que les superaremos en casos. No te diré que nos lo merecemos, porque nadie se merece vivir esta pesadilla, pero desde luego que el civismo no es el fuerte de los españoles. No se ha inventado aún la palabra para describir lo que estamos haciendo, y lo que queda por venir.

Estado de Alarma en España

Ya está. Si es que se veía venir. España entera en confinamiento. A practicar el yo me quedo en casa aquí también. Por suerte son solo 15 días. ¿Imaginas que fuese una cuarentena de verdad, de 40 días? Sería una tortura, antes me pego un tiro. Pero mira, un descanso vendrá bien. Escuchad familia, ¿os parece si preparamos las maletas rápidamente y nos vamos al apartamento de la playa? Total, para estar en casa haciendo nada, por lo menos allí seguro que nos podemos escapar a la playa, que no habrá nadie controlando. A ver papá, ¿tú te estás escuchando? ¿No sabes que puedes ser portador del virus sin tener síntomas? Qué quieres ¿contagiarlo al pueblo que está libre del bicho aún? Un poco de sentido común, no hace falta ser uno genio para ver que quédate en casa y vete al apartamento de la playa son cosas distintas.

Madrid deserta

Eso es lo todo el mundo debería haber hecho. Utilizar un poco el sentido común. Gracias, hija, por hacérmelo ver. Afortunadamente la mayoría de los españoles lo tenemos. Por desgracia, no todos. Sí es cierto que han sido los menos, pero han contribuido a la expansión del contagio. Veremos si llega el pico pronto, porque no quiero ni pensar en la posibilidad de que decidan extender el Estado de Alarma por otros 15 días. Lleváis cuatro días encerrados y estáis que os subís por las paredes. Tu madre ya ni me habla, y vosotros todo el día con el móvil, en la tele o con el ordenador, y a mí me toca trabajar. Además, me da miedo pillar el coronavirus por ahí cuando salgo a pasear al perro, y contagiaros a vosotros al llegar a casa. ¡Ni en el super se están tomando ningún tipo de medidas!

¿Qué hacer en durante el confinamiento?

Que no cunda el pánico… ¡corred!

Madre del amor hermoso, no me puedo creer que esto esté pasando aquí, en nuestra España. Esto debe ser una equivocación, ¡si aquí somos los mejores en todo! ¡prácticamente inmortales! Disculpe agente, yo no quiero formar parte de esto, a mi déjenme seguir con mi vida, hagan el favor. ¿Qué me tiene que poner una multa? ¡Manos arriba, esto es un atraco! Mejor yo me quedo en casa. Reunión familiar en el salón, chic@s, esto va en serio. Vamos a pensar. Lo primero, que no cunda el pánico. Está todo controlado. Los servicios esenciales van a seguir abiertos, así que tenemos que aprovisionarnos. ¿Qué necesitamos? ¡Papel higiénico! ¡Corred! Ya tendremos tiempo de pensar más adelante en comida, y en como pasar las horas en casa sin volvernos locos. Y si con esta crisis nos volvemos todos locos, tampoco pasa nada. Total ¡es el fin del mundo!

coronavirus, estado de alarma

Trabajar desde casa en cuarentena

Vale que estemos en Estado de Alarma, pero eso no significa que todo el mundo esté de vacaciones forzadas. Hay gente, como yo, que por suerte o por desgracia, podemos trabajar desde casa. Aunque en teoría es lo mismo, ya que trabajo frente a una pantalla de ordenador, siempre lo he hecho en mi oficina. Naturalmente está preparada con todas las comodidades del mundo para que haya un ambiente agradable. ¿Qué voy a hacer en mi casa con los niños dando gritos? Lo primero, buscar algo de información con recomendaciones para trabajar desde casa. Que bueno es este artículo que acabo de leer en Baratijas Bonitas, con un montón de cosas que me van a facilitar mi trabajo estos días en la oficina improvisada de mi casa. Niñ@s ¡vale ya! ¿No tenéis otra cosa mejor que hacer que molestar a vuestro padre mientras está en una videoconferencia con los jefazos?

Cómo no aburrirse durante el confinamiento

Cuando dijeron eso de quédate en casa durante dos semanas, seguro que no pensaron en lo aburrido que iba a ser. ¿Cómo lo están soportando en Wuhan que ya llevan tanto tiempo aislados? Déjame pensar por un momento en cuáles son las mejores actividades para vencer el aburrimiento en casa… así a botepronto se me ocurre tallar el aire, observar como se mueve el segundero en el reloj de cocina o mirar a la pared. No parecen muy apasionantes. ¡Maldita televisión! Me ha destrozado la imaginación. ¡Ni siquiera se me había ocurrido ver la tele! Mejor me documento por internet. Oye ¿Cómo dices que se llama esa página con artículos tan útiles y simpáticos que viste? Baratijas Bonitas, quizás ellos tengan algunas actividades en casa. Si no, estoy perdido, tendré que dar vueltas a la mesa del comedor ¡hasta marearme y caerme al suelo!

Cómo estar activos mientras dure la crisis

Soy responsable así que yo me quedo en casa. Pero me fastidia mucho romper mi rutina diaria de salir a correr una hora al día. Además, sé que me costará mucho volver a engancharme, y ahora no me cuesta ningún esfuerzo. Tengo que encontrar la forma de hacer algo de deporte en casa. Le voy a echar un ojo a la página de Baratijas Bonitas. Ojalá hayan escrito algo sobre cómo mantener la forma practicando deportes en casa. Míralos, bucear en casa dicen los cachondos. La verdad es que me rio con ellos, ha sido un buen descubrimiento durante el Estado de Alarma. No son malas ideas, y más teniendo en cuenta la situación que pinta que se va a alargar más de lo esperado. Seguro que tod@s mis amig@s están comiendo como cerdos, y yo voy a llegar al verano ¡sin necesidad de realizar la operación bikini!

Quédate en casa y lleva una dieta equilibrada

Hay que ver, 24 horas en casa y la nevera tan cerca qué peligro tiene. Lo de picar entre horas se ha convertido en algo literal, y ¡como a cada hora del día! Aún no es tarde, no todo está perdido, son solo un par de kilos. Pero tengo que empezar a cuidarme llevando una dieta saludable. El deporte no es suficiente. Estoy 100% seguro de que mis amig@s de Baratijas Bonitas han escrito algo sobre cómo combatir las tentaciones y cuidar una dieta saludable. Me han convencido, empiezo hoy mismo a cuidarme. A enemigo que huye, puente de plata dicen, pero hoy, brócoli, mi gran archienemigo, no te vas a ningún lado. ¡Llegó tu hora, hoy vas a ser devorado! Con todos estos consejos e ideas, superar el yo me quedo en casa va a ser pan comido, ¡me da igual si no llega el fin de la cuarentena!

El Covid-19 en el mundo entero

La crisis de los americanos

Donde digo americanos, me refiero a estadounidenses, que como siempre merecen una mención especial. Buenas noticias para los italianos y españoles, al otro lado del charco, nos superan. Confirmado, 8 de cada 10 especialistas de la universidad de Milwaukee están de acuerdo en que son el país con más tontos del mundo, empezando por su presidente. ¿Habéis visto la analogía de si él hubiera sido el capitán del Titanic? No hay ningún iceberg, no vamos a chocar con un iceberg, supe que era un iceberg antes que nadie, nadie conoce los icebergs mejor que yo, los pingüinos pusieron el iceberg ahí, nadie podría haber predicho el iceberg, tenemos salvavidas para tod@s, la tripulación difunde noticias falsas sobre icebergs, algunos de vosotros os tendréis que ahogar, soy el mejor capitán de barco ¡todo el mundo lo sabe! Pues así les ha pasado con el coronavirus.

titanic, estado de alarma USA

La crisis en el resto del mundo

Quién iba a pensar que una sopa de murciélago en Wuhan pondría el mundo tal y como lo conocíamos patas arriba. El Estado de Alarma es algo global. Llevamos en confinamiento más de una cuarentena, que por definición son cuarenta días. En unos países más, en otros menos. Con más o menos restricciones, el mundo entero se ha visto afectado. Asia, Europa, América, Oceanía y África. ¿Alguien sabe si el bicho consiguió llegar a la Antártida? La verdad es que no lo sé, pero lo dudo, ya que no hay vuelos regulares ni habitantes, tan solo equipos de investigación. No creáis que la opción es irse a vivir allí, hace tanto frio que ¡hasta dudo que los de Bilbao lo pudieran soportar! Igual con una rebequita… Para ti, que no eres un semidios como ellos, quédate en casa que el fin de la cuarentena está cerca.

El Plan de la Desescalada

El gobierno ha publicado el plan de la desescalada. Te podrá parecer más o menos bonito o acertado, pero lo que es cierto es que es el principio del fin, como ver la luz al final del túnel. Dependiendo de nuestro comportamiento, se nos presentan tres posibles escenarios. Primero, el que todos esperamos, que todo salga bien. Segundo, el que quizás es más lógico que pase, que las cosas salgan regular. El tercero y último, el que nadie quiere que pase, que todo salga fatal y nos toque volver a casa y al Estado de Alarma. Esto no va a depender de nadie más que de nosotros. Sí, el pueblo ha de decidir cuál es el futuro que quiere y actuar en consecuencia. Si no somos responsables y el sentido común y el civismo no van con nosotros, luego no nos podremos quejar. ¡Haced el favor y comportaos!

Opción 1, el fin del Estado de Alarma

¡Todo ha salido genial! Los españoles hemos aprendido la lección, y hemos empezado a comportarnos, ¡tod@s! Porque no era suficiente con que una mayoría lo hiciese. Hemos decidido respetar las reglas, seguir los consejos y por fin hemos conseguido vencer al maldito virus. Una nueva edad de oro florece en España. Sus ciudadanos se han dado cuenta del poder que tienen cuando están unidos y decididos a lograr un objetivo. Se acaba con la corrupción, y por supuesto todos los chorizos devuelven lo que han robado. Las empresas ganan tanto dinero que los jefazos deciden doblar el sueldo a los trabajadores. El fútbol deja de tener tanta importancia en nuestras vidas. Los cracs pasan a cobrar mil euros, ya que el fútbol es un juego y no una profesión y son los médicos, enfermer@s y profesores los que ganan millones. Así, sí. ¡Viva España!

homer en el pais de chocolate

Opción 2, ni pa’ ti ni pa’ mí, pero la crisis continúa

No diremos que ha salido mal, pero muy bien no nos va. El virus sigue pululando por el aire, ya que algunos descerebrados se han pasado las normas y recomendaciones por el forro. Nos preocupa más el color del partido político al mando, que las propias acciones que se toman o se sugieren desde la oposición. Todo es una campaña de marketing. Eventualmente se descubre la vacuna y hace que nos sintamos seguros. Nada cambia en nuestras vidas, porque ¿para qué luchar por una vida mejor cuándo hay tapa y cerveza por un euro? ¡Ya nos va bien así! Hace calor, las playas se llenan y durante dos semanas al año podemos disfrutarlas en nuestro apartamento en multipropiedad. A veces se hace difícil llegar a fin de mes, pero bueno, no perdemos la esperanza de que nos toquen los euromillones. Y entonces ¡sí que vamos a vivir la vida!

Opción 3, todo el mundo en cuarentena otra vez

Nadie ha aprendido nada. No habría sido posible hacerlo tan mal ni con entrenamiento. ¿Qué os ha pasado españoles? Antes molabais. Se reinstaura el Estado de Alarma, otra vez todo el mundo en confinamiento. Pero la gente ya está cansada. La vacuna tarda demasiado en llegar. Empiezan las revueltas en las calles de las grandes ciudades. La gente se está quedando sin dinero, así que también empiezan los saqueos. Los insurgentes, que no son pocos, consiguen entrar a la fuerza en la Moncloa. Tanto los que mandan como los que están en la oposición son encarcelados a la fuerza. Naciones Unidas no se quiere meter en el tema ya que es “una cosa nuestra”. Reina la anarquía en todo el país. Francia y Portugal aprovechan el momento e invaden España y Baleares. El fin de una nación. Solo nos queda Canarias. No está tan mal, ¿verdad? ¡Me pido Lanzarote!

apocalypse tras el estado de alarma

¿Qué será de nosotros tras el fin de la cuarentena?

Sea cual sea el final que más nos guste, la realidad es que de momento nos tocará esperar un poco para verlo. Habrá gente a la que aún le tocará trabajar desde casa mientras sus hijos no paran de molestarle. Básicamente porque los pobres están aburridos, sin darse cuenta de que son muchas las opciones que tienen, que hay un sinfín de actividades en casa que pueden realizar. Más fácil lo tendrá la gente que ya de por sí es activa, porque a ellos no los va a parar un confinamiento y son conscientes de que pueden seguir practicando deportes en casa. Tal vez esos otros que nunca tienen tiempo para cocinar y que se dedican a comer comida rápida, por no llamarla basura, se den cuenta de que llevar una dieta saludable no requiere tanto tiempo como pensaban. Desde Baratijas Bonitas, esperamos lo mejor para cada uno de vosotros.

No olvidéis mis amig@s seguidores BBes que, lo más importante es que os cuidéis a vosotros mismos y a vuestras familias. Si todos los españoles hacemos esto, no habrá ningún problema. De momento, seguid practicando el yo me quedo en casa y tomad las medidas adecuadas cuando se nos permita salir a la calle. Mientras tanto podéis visitar nuestra tienda y encontrar el regalo perfecto si tenéis cerca algún cumpleaños, aniversario, boda, etc. No olvidéis suscribiros gratuitamente a nuestro boletín de noticias para estar al tanto de nuevas ideas, trucos y todo tipo de novedades que llegarán a Baratijas Bonitas. Queremos aprovechar la ocasión para deciros que, con la suscripción, también tendréis acceso completamente GRATIS a la sección TOP SECRET! en donde encontrareis artículos super secretos. Shhhh, no se lo contéis a nadie o ¡dejará de ser secreto! Un saludo y mucho ánimo a todos. Nos vemos muy pronto.

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